Often we talk about the efforts a
woman does in her life, the relationship she shares with her husband, managing
with her children and taking care of her whole family, but rarely we discuss
the hardships faced by a man in calming his wife’s mood swings, making out time
to play with his kids and meeting the demands of his family members! A man, who
we expect to be available at any call and at any point of time, happily takes
the reward of a supporting actor in his family’s life, just because the woman
of his family grumpily takes away the award of best actress…..all the time!
Some of the luckiest females get
that type of husband and how can I not mention here that I stand right on the
top of that list!
It’s been a decade now since the
time I know him and we have together celebrated the four wonderful years of
parenthood also. Throughout these years, he has given me numerous reason to
fall in love with him again… and all over again…
Scientifically I don’t know why,
but I think women feel more depressed and also express that depression every
now and then, so easily as compared to their male counterparts! There are
several stages in a women’s life when they feel significantly depressed, like
pre-pregnancy depression, pregnancy-depression, post-pregnancy-depression and
depression throughout their life, sometimes for several reasons and sometimes for
no reasons… Maybe we consider that men do not feel depressed at all, because
they do not undergo those biological changes which women go through in their
lives and maybe that is the reason we use them as our anti-depressants…sometimes
or all the times!
Whenever I feel miserable, I look
for him…. find some reason to argue on…maybe something from the long lost past…
blame him for not being responsible for something at some point of time… then I
cry because his voice turns loud as he tries to defend himself which is obvious…I
make him feel as miserable as I was feeling before I started this conversation,
and then finally I tell him the actual reason of me feeling depressed at this
point of time! He then hugs me and tell some magical words which make the
feeling of ‘sadness’ move out and the feeling of ‘being loved’ move in my
heart…………. And I feel happy back.
I have become an expert in using
this ‘therapy’ on myself for last so many years…but never cared if this therapy
is leaving any side effects on my husband’s feelings or not!
My all-time favorite reasons of
arguments are – me working more inside the house as compared to him, taking
care of children more number of time as he does, managing with his family
better than he does…. but during all those arguments, I continually forget to
mention that he is the one who is supplying me with the energy, happiness and
reasons for being able to do all this!
There were days when I had to
live separately from him for couple of years. I blamed him for being very happy
without me and his little daughter. I behaved like an obsessed parent those
days because was not able to trust on anything and anybody that could do any
harm to my child…
The difficult days got over
quickly and we shifted to a new country! “In my own country I was not trusting
on people, how could I trust on people here in this new place” …that was the
fear growing in my mind!
But I was forgetting that she is
now with her dad. He started taking her to the places ‘without holding her
hands’, made her do slide ‘without trying to catch her at the bottom’, took
away her fear of water by ‘letting her go in the swimming pool by herself’ made
her eat spices despite of her shedding tears after that! I now realized the
importance of ‘dad’ in a child’s life! He might not be the person who bored the
child in his belly, but he surely is the person who made every moment safe and
special when the child was in my tummy! He might not hold the hand when she is
running far, but his eyes are surely fixed on her to notice her every
movement…he is the one who made me understand that “some time we need to take
some risks in our lives and trust on the destiny rather than getting worried”.
He made me trust on him more than
I trust on myself!
He understands when I expect more
of his time on weekends…so he does not sleep on weekends, brings gifts back
home from office, buy new trendy things for us, takes us on vacations every now
and then and the best of all…always lets me eat whatever I want! He loves his
family and so has made me and my daughter fall in love with the whole family,
he understands what does each family member need to be happy and so has made me
understand the needs of his family members…
But I never forget to act as the
winner and taking the credit of being so thoughtful, caring and loving for
everyone…because I believe that I am the best he is just supporting one!
